Slipping Into Darkness
That faint image still holds true,
but memories waste away.
I lay drenched in blood imbrued,
the vanishing trick, it never stays
Colors fade to black again,
happiness is left alone.
The familiar depression begins,
and I sink into my own.
Independence becomes the lifestyle,
my only comfort of safety.
Voices are put out, not worthwhile,
I create a new form of insanity.
"Friend" has no existing meaning,
though my alter-ego does come close.
As death, more and more, is leaning,
every action brings remorse.
Little hope exists within my smile,
and the passion slowly leaves.
As my soul is put into exile,
along with common sense, it grieves.
I'll drown in my own tears,
glaring ominously as you mourn.
Where was the care when I had fears;
show it now, you can die and I'm reborn.
My Impossible Eternal
Searching blindly in the dark,
unheard voices guide my way.
Inviting creatures lie and lurk,
hunting the light, their only prey.
In this place of consistent change,
I discovered my eternal.
My ideal was found in such a range,
it secures me so unnatural.
Yet I'm pushed forward in the line,
can I not stay this way forever?
Don't conceal your destructive shine,
you've come to burn my sweet beloved.
I'm content, I'm finished searching,
living in such a perfect notion.
Though I fear I'm merely testing,
I've come across the answer, no further questions.
So take my love and all living inside me,
after all, it's only habit.
Rid me of all darkness which cares for me,
you're envious, you cannot help it.
In this world of such utter perfection,
I'm aware this wish lives impossible.
In my puddled blood I see the reflection,
such crimson beauty proves implausible
The Waking Nightmare
I'm spawned in this palce of normality,
growing from your pure mortality.
I feed off your deceitful eyes,
in taking all the thoughtless lies.
I never thought you'd let it come to this,
allow my thoughts to to appear oblivious.
Let all awareness drift and all associated,
it's come clear that you must be alleviated.
Chorus:
Can you come clean?
Stop this life you've made for me.
Can you wake me from my dream?
Stop the horrors inside of me.
No, so just leave me be.
I'm still drowning where you left me,
lost so utterly and completely.
But I'm crawling to the edge,
yes, I'm dying at the edge.
Chorus
I can't feel, not your dead hands.
I'm not breathing, not in these suffocating lands.
I won't change, not for your wasted pleasure.
There is nothing, not in existing measures.
Chorus (twice)
Murderous Emotion
Do I come back each time,
expecting your disappointments?
Do I find myself shaking at your voice,
because your presence makes me crave you?
Do you even care, I wonder,
that I spill my blood for you thoughtlessly?
That I starve myself of life
hoping that you'll take pitty on my worthless soul.
That every thought of you,
puts unearthly nausea into my body.
That a simple task as breathing,
takes the remaining energy out of me.
Would you care, my love,
if I never lived beyond the surface?
Does it satisfy you, my sweet,
that you've broken me?
Are you proud, my Angel of Darkness,
that the scar you've put in me will never disappear?
Does the fact that I live in pure depression,
make you jump and laugh with joy?
The grasp you once had on me so firmly,
will always remain under my skin.
Burned into my mind and soul,
the poison passion of your touch still lingers.
Always will you be my eternal love and comfort,
as you are my eternal destruction...
Ignorant Calamity
Oh, my love, my only, my Sweet Eternal,
what have you done?
Were my circumstances not clear,
did you misread me?
Somehow, did you get lost,
somewhere along the road, did you lose me?
Oh wait, no,
you got lost inside yourself.
Inside your shere need to cause pain,
and was I your nearest target?
But of course, you had me;
so wrapped up in your false words.
So easily was I made vulnerable,
because you claimed to protect me.
But one villain was immune to you;
one small, sly component.
You could not keep me safe from yourself,
and under your collision, I lay burried.
Burried under thoughts upon words,
that will one day bring an end to me.
Burried somewhere between fantasy and calamity,
between who you are who I loved.
With my heart barely beating in your teeth,
you just assumed that everything would be fine?
That I would move on so carelessly;
like all you said and did would drift out of me?
And so the cloud of ignorance around you,
glowing opaquely, becomes visible.
You are a flawed victim of humanity,
your "difference" is the superiority you've wrongly placed on yourself.
I Hate Ilysse
Pile your hatred onto me,
your criticism, spite and emptiness.
Load it all into me,
because that's clearly what I crave.
The way I squirm with agony,
I'm growing more insecure by the second.
Can't you see me at your feet
pleading for more torture?
Can't you hear me screaming;
can't you feel me shaking with fury.
Because isn't is obvious,
I'm about to fall into your hollow heart.
The empty space I fear,
that space a cretin would belong.
Because isn't it obvious,
I'm losing myself to you.
Becoming you, the demon I dread,
I'm losing who I used to be, that I loved.
The being I was proud of;
she is dying.
Who am I to say
that I've regressed?
When I'm beyond regression,
I'm decaying, and watching as I do.
Watching as I drop
further into my fatal choices.
And leaving my true companions
is clearly what I want.
Leaving them for you,
just must be what is wise.
Good-hearted souls,
never to do me injustice.
For YOU, I dare repeat.
How did I come to this conclusion,
how have I done this yet again?
Broken who I am, who I want to be,
and I still cannot find why
This is beyond self destruction,
I'm entering unseen suicide.